Jan 27
Should We Run Away From Pain?
Have you ever felt some uncomfortable sensation both in your body during your lifetime? And you wish you never had to experience it again? Yeah, that’s a sensation called pain. When you experience pain, it tells you something is going wrong. It’s’ like, hey Chris, your body is taking so much pain, maybe you should stop doing what you do right now. And probably that’s the right thing to do, right? … or is it?
A Bittersweet Truth
We wish we don’t have to experience physical and psychological pain. Almost everything a human being do is addressed to avoid pain. People will stuff their stomachs so that they won’t experience pain from hunger, people will work so hard hoping they will avoid getting pain from getting broke, people will leave someone that causing too much pain in their life. Painful experience changes people, Painful tragedy breaks people, Painful illness kills people.
On the other side, pain participates in producing numerous beautiful things. Touching music, fantastic paintings, the sweet poet, and some mind-blowing success stories birth from pain. Pain gives meaning to life, a reason to move on (although some people need a lot of pain to move on), and ideas to innovate.
We can have a love-hate relationship with pain. Either you love it, or you hate it. There isn’t something wrong or right about it. Pain is just a sensation, signal, or result from what you have done. While pain is inevitable, what you are trying to accomplish is more important than the pain it produces along the way.
To Embrace or To Avoid?
We were already experiencing pain and will be experiencing pain till’ we die. Knowing pain at waiting by the door, we choose our path carefully. Sometimes we confuse what to do, confuse which one we have to pick.
Do I have to stick around in this shithole toxic job for financial security, or maybe I should send my resignation letter and apply for a new job?
Is this relationship really worth it? Seems like it’s always a gray day walking with her.
Do following this diet will lead me to the body I want? This diet costs a lot of my money and time.
What if I choose A and B happens .. oh, shit!! That’s gonna be bad!
Then the B will produce C, C will cause D. Damn man! My life gonna be a living hell when D happened!
D will generate E and ..! There will be F! and U! .. FU !!
STOP!!
Just stop your fucking sadistic imaginative self-harm…
Take a deep breath.. exhale … inhale …
Seneca said this wisdom a long time ago that we suffer more in imagination than reality. We tend to overthink something that didn’t happen yet. We often exaggerate what will go wrong and underestimate what will go right. I’ve been there, overloading my thought negative thoughts and terrified with my own imagination of the terrifying chain of events that might happen.
So how do I know when to embrace or avoid the pain?
The healthiest and easiest way to do this is to use some common sense and boundaries, although it might be different from case to case.
Imagine you are in a relationship where often you fight with each other over small things. What will you do?
Some of you might answer, to the hell with it! I’m gonna leave this bullshit!
But what if I told you that besides giving you a hard time, she was also loyal and taking care of you. You are the man you are right now because of her. Would you leave this relationship?
Imagine you are skinny fat, you are in a weak state, low muscle mass with a big bouncy belly. You start working out. It’s a tiring and worn-out session. You almost have a blackout for the first time. Would you stop working out just because you experiencing the pain?
We chose to still embrace the pain because we understand enough what we do is something worthwhile even when we know the pain is still there. We just don’t throw it all away just because we are experiencing pain. Life isn’t a buffet. You can’t just have a good side of something you pick. You must swallow both the good and the bad.
I’m gonna show you a different story. Pay attention here.
What if you are staying in a relationship that you are the only one who works to make this relationship work, while your partner with a devil may care attitude is cheating behind your back? Would you still choosing stay inside the relationship, embracing the pain while hoping she will change and love you 3000?
What if you are taking an under minimum wage job in a toxic workplace while your boss is giving you pressure all the time, not rewarding you enough, and also keeping you dumb?
Would you still work in the same company hoping your environment goes healthy and your boss will start recognizing and appreciating you one day?
That’s why using common sense (even though it’s not easy, as I said) and having healthy boundaries come along the way. When it comes to relationships, we want to experience pain through a relationship with someone who cares and deeply loves us. While on a career/job, we consciously take the stress and pressure, knowing it will reward us good enough.
In short, we choose to take the pain cause we know the pain is nothing compared to beautiful things waiting for us at the end of the road. Otherwise, we will avoid the pain if the road promises little to no reward.
